“I brazenly take a step into the black abyss of unknown ventures and unpredictable liaisons that is 2009… not before countless hours of contemplation and reflection… after all I am She-Who-Misses-the-Bergs (so named after overlooking the icebergs in several ‘almost’ relationships and sinking numerous titanics)… this time I have my binoculars and several caffeine pills lest I should overlook potential danger again.
2000 and GREAT was supposed to be the year for She-Who-Misses-the-Bergs to detox post fix-you episodes (failed attempts to paper gaping cracks in her soul), but the stars had a different plan for her and decided to deal a surprisingly overwhelming amount of drama… substantially more than her usual yearly serving. So 2000-and-DIVINE arrives with quite a lengthy, boastful introduction. She walks in the door false eye-lashes and glitter shadow batting to her dramatic stride, but alas! 2000-and-GREAT has already taken her bow and made her thank you speeches… and boy were her thank you’s long….The GREAT one is now swaying to the deafening sound of a standing ovation. The DIVINE one is annoyed… almost murderous… how could the GREAT one steal her thunder. Everyone knew that the ‘it’ year was the DIVINE one. The GREAT one was just meant to be an introduction for greater things to come.
Word gets around that She-who-misses-the-bergs has lost her smile… it stayed somewhere in 2000 and GREAT…. She searches frantically for it and even pleads with the Gods to take her back … but Fate has been holding a grudge against her since her episode with the Captain of the Santa Maria…. She’s doomed to a life of advancing… she can NEVER go back. Given that it is imperative for her to possess a smile for the DIVINE one, she needs to source one out. So the DIVINE one takes it up to assist her to find her smile… if you are gonna do it, do it big. She-who-misses-the-bergs and the DIVINE one have formed a search party to find the perfect smile… She knows for sure that the smile factory in the Orient was shut by Russians in 2008. Rumour has it that it could be located in the dark alleys of the place of gold… but she’s seen glimpses of it in the eyes of leprecauns…. There’s no telling where it could be… maybe fate will bury the hatchet…”
I wrote this at the very beginning of this year. What I discovered was that my smile was not with any foreign strangers, but fragments of it were in the possession of those dear to me. I have now put humpty-dumpty together again :-)
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